Nancy East

Hiker | Author | Outdoor Educator

The New Normal

by

 I’ve lost track of how many weeks Jones has been home now.  In many ways, his homecoming isn’t unlike bringing the other two home from the hospital (with the exception of Jones sleeping through the night immediately, thank God!).  We’ve all had to transition to the new normal and it’s been an exhilarating ride to say the least!  I would be lying if I didn’t admit to having a few meltdowns myself, wondering what in the hell I was thinking to believe that I could lovingly and effectively parent a child whose background was so vastly different than my other two children.  Reeling myself back in usually involves reminding myself what a privilege it is to raise this child, when his life should never have found its way into my hands in the first place.  I think of his first mother watching me, hoping I will give it 110% every day, hoping I will one day love him half as much as she surely did.  Some days it’s easier to believe that will happen than others, but slowly, yet assuredly, he is carving out his permanent niche in my heart.

Enough with the serious stuff.  What everyone really wants to know is what he’s like!

:: He’s very shy at first, and he’s mastered the scowl perfected by his sister when he meets someone new for the first time. 🙂

::  He loves making people laugh.  Whether it’s imitating someones facial expressions or pantomiming something funny that happened during the day, he loves nothing more to laugh and to make people around him laugh.

 

::  Speaking of his laugh, his is the best!  Scrooge himself would smile if he heard him laugh.

 

::  If he could pick one food to take with him on a desert island, his choice, hands down, would be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
::  He takes pride in being part of a family again and wants affirmation that he is a very crucial part of the whole (and he is).
::  He loves riding his big wheel around and around and around the pop up camper in our driveway.  Now that he’s graduated to a bike, he enjoys riding it just as much but his first love will always be the big wheel
::  If he had to choose one family member and leave the rest behind, he would choose Izzie, our dog, hands down.

 

::  He wants to please and seeks out ways to help around the house. He is extremely obedient and wants to know the correct way to do things and the appropriate way to behave.

::  He loves to tell stories and has told many a tale about his life in Ethiopia.  I think some of them may be a stretch from the truth (the one about he and his buddy, Mesfin, driving a car in Awassa and crashing it into a tree stands out in my mind!) but they sure are fun to listen to!

::  He is a snuggle bug.  While he doesn’t quite know how to express himself in words yet, he’s got the body language down pat and is eager to show affection when he’s happy.  Running up to me and jumping on my leg while hugging me is a common occurrence each day.

::  He is extremely inquisitive and wants to know how things work and how to speak in English.  His English is coming along nicely.  He is now able to convey just about any point or message if he tries hard enough, usually with a mix of pantomiming, Amharic, and English.  And he understands just about anything we say to him as long as it’s something he’s heard once before.

::  He is tough as a nail.  When he had blood drawn and immunizations given, he merely flinched without a single tear.  When he had teeth extracted at the dentist, he wasn’t crazy about the experience but was elated with the fact that he got to pick out a red balloon at the end of the visit.

::  He loves America.  He has told us repeatedly that he wants to be here and wants to be part of a family.  I’m not sure he truly loves us yet but I do believe he is falling in love and that’s good enough for all of us right now.

Mama would have loved him.  She would have loved his resiliency and his determination to assimilate into a completely new culture and life with a smile on his face most days. She would have taken on the tragedy of his life as her own and embraced it with him. She would have proudly welcomed him into our family. I miss her terribly during this time with him, yet if she were here his life wouldn’t be a part of ours.

I mentioned his mother above and how I imagine her watching over all this, hoping I’ll do the best job I know how with her child.  Well, I also imagine my own Mama doing the same, her beautiful spirit intertwined with that of his first mothers, helping guide me down the right path.  She gave me a candle holder before she died that was inscribed with the famous words of Julian of Norwich, “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” I wasn’t sure I understood it’s meaning then, but I do in fact I think I get it now, Mama.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Brooke Wilson

    So sweet Nancy! Our Truman is a worker too, he serves with his heart. I can't blame him on the pb&j, I still love them too! It's great to hear your family is growing together! ~Brooke

  2. Anonymous

    Very nice Nancy. So glad things are going well. If you ever want to talk about this experience, please call. My cell is 303-859-3893. Call for any reason.
    Kelly Jo

  3. Two Little Birds

    such a sweet and touching post. Your last paragraphs brought tears to my eyes. Thanks so much for sharing and letting us know about your wonderful, sweet son. Again… such an inspiration for many of us waiting to bring ours home.